


the rain pounds hard against the glass

by SurviveEternity



Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Angst, Appendicitis, M/M, Multi, sad seth is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-01-12
Packaged: 2018-05-13 09:47:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5703214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SurviveEternity/pseuds/SurviveEternity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>all seth could think was that he promised he'd be home tonight. after his business trip had just been getting longer and longer, he'd promised that he'd been home tonight. he promised and now he might have to call and say, "sorry, nevermind."</p>
            </blockquote>





	the rain pounds hard against the glass

Seth sat in the uncomfortable airport chairs, trying to ignore the pain in the right side of his stomach and staring at the world outside the large glass windows. It was pouring rain - absolutely pouring, bad enough that people were saying the planes couldn't leave because they had no visibility and the runways were wet and all Seth could think was that he promised he'd be home tonight. After his business trip had just been getting longer and longer, he'd promised that he'd been home tonight. He promised and now he might have to call and say, "Sorry, nevermind."

He couldn't call and say, "Sorry, nevermind." He could hear the way Dean’d try to cover up his disappointment now and the way Roman’d say it was okay - and it hurt far worse than the stabbing pain in his side.

It wasn't how it worked. Dean never bailed on them - Roman never bailed on them. Seth was the only one who bailed on them and it needed to stop. Or - he sighed, putting his head in his hands. The longer he was away from them, the more he feared they'd realize he was nothing special. Just a kid from Iowa, fighting and clawing his way up to mattering. Just some kid from Iowa, who knew he didn't matter but kept trying anyway, because he was nothing if not stupidly determined.

His phone started ringing and Seth glanced at the caller ID. It was Roman, probably calling to see why their fuck-up of a boyfriend wasn't home yet. Seth clenched his jaw and dropped it onto the seat next to him, just letting it ring out. He reached up and pulled his ponytail tight again - they'd be better off without waiting for him. He pulled out his laptop and turned it on - his heart sank at the sight of his icon; it was a picture of the three of them, from their last Fourth of July celebration.

Closing his eyes, he typed out his password and hit enter. He didn't deserve them - they shouldn't have to wait for him to get back, shouldn't have to put their Christmas celebration on hold for some fuck up who couldn't even catch a plane right. Seth inhaled sharply, trying to fight back the heat in his eyes. God, he never should've taken the damn business trip - they'd told him it didn't matter, that he'd be back in time anyway, that he should go on the trip. Maybe he'd get that promotion he wanted.

 _'Maybe I'd get the promotion that'd make me matter,'_ he thought, bitterly. The promotion was going to Orton instead - Seth still wouldn't be any more than a fuck up, never be any more than some stupidly determined kid from Iowa. His stepfather was right - he should've died in the crash that took his actual dad. Should've died and stopped wasting everyone's time, stopped making everyone wait for him to suddenly actually matter.

His phone was ringing again so he put it on vibrate - he could feel his fellow passengers judging him for letting it ring so much. This time it was Dean. Seth stared at the picture and something heavy settled into his stomach, joining the rest of his failures. Dean was making that face Seth loved - when his nose was all scrunched up and his tongue was sticking out. He hadn't made that face in awhile - not since Seth's job had started taking over more of his life.

God, what a failure he was. Seth buried his head into his hands, dropping his phone back into his lap. He should just stop pretending that he mattered, that anything he did mattered, that he would ever matter. All he ever did was fuck up - either at work or at home or anywhere. He'd gotten the wrong fucking bread the last time he'd gone shopping, the kind that no one liked. Now anytime he suggested he get the groceries, Dean and Roman exchanged that look and suggested that one of them do it instead.

He swallowed, scrubbing at his eyes. He was just such a fucking fuck up.

Maybe Roman and Dean were calling to tell him not to come home. That they'd figured out they were just much happier without him - without him fucking up at every turn, without him leaving too early and staying out too late at work. That there was no Seth sized hole without him, that all Seth did was mess their happiness up and that he needed to stay away so they stayed happy.

*

"He's still not picking up," Roman stated, watching Dean sigh. They'd looked at his flight online - apparently it was being delayed due to the heavy rainfall. Roman had wanted to confirm that with Seth - maybe tell him, if he didn't know - but instead their boyfriend wasn't picking up. He hadn't sounded right until the night he called them to tell them that he was coming home this time, he had a flight booked and everything.

"Nah," Dean put his phone back into his pocket. Seth had made him get a new one - had even bought him a smartphone over his very loud objections. It had bugged Dean at the time, how Seth had smiled that smile which didn't reach his eyes and said, "It's the best someone like me can do for you." Something about it hadn't sat right with Dean, but then Seth'd seemed fine afterwards.

"D'ya ever think..." Dean paused, trying to find the right words. "D'ya ever think Seth doesn't think we love 'im?" It wasn't quite right what Dean meant and he pulled a face. "Like, he thinks we shouldn't love him?"

Roman sighed, running a hand down his face. "Yeah," he said. Seth had always been a bit - determined? To prove that he was important to the relationship, to prove that they should love him, that he was worthy of their love - like he wasn't normally or something. But it'd gotten worse ever since he got skipped for promotion three times in a row. And, god, the way he'd broken down after realizing he got the wrong bread.

They probably should've pulled him aside and talked about it before he left on the trip, but they'd figured it could wait until after Christmas. It could wait until some of the stress had been taken off his shoulders - Roman's cousin-in-law, Nia, worked at the same firm and she told him their workload was something like three times what it normally was. She'd mentioned that Seth did seem to be overworking himself, too. It was bad when Seth's co-workers were noticing the same thing Roman and Dean were.

"He shouldn't feel like that," Dean said, like somehow his opinion would change Seth's feelings. Like if he put enough conviction behind his words, suddenly Seth would feel better about himself. "Sure, he's a little whiny and shit, but it's not like I love you more than him." Roman reached over and grabbed Dean's hand.

They couldn't really help Seth when he wasn't even picking up his phone.

*

The phone stopped vibrating in his pocket, they stopped calling. Seth breathed a sigh of relief as he realized they'd probably figured out they were better off without him. There was an accompanying sharp pain in his chest, but it was better off this way. They were better off without him - better off just giving up on him.

He watched the icy rain pouring down outside. ‘They’re better off without me,’ he repeated to himself in a mantra. Roman and Dean didn’t need him - he was the useless leech who needed them, the fuck up who didn’t matter and just stole their love from them. The weight in his stomach was just feeling heavier and heavier with each repetition.

He hoped he wouldn’t puke again - not long after the pain in his side had started, he’d puked. God, another reason for him to not go home. The last thing Roman and Dean needed on top of him was to be sick as well.

“Are you alright?” The bald man sitting opposite him suddenly asked. Seth raised an eyebrow at him. “I simply mean that you look pale,” he explained, his voice slightly accented - considering how pale he was, Seth didn’t really think he had any place to talk. “I am a doctor.”

“That’s nice,” Seth said dryly, powering his laptop off. He deliberately moved slowly as he put his laptop away - he didn’t want to wince and make this doctor get more on his case. “I’m an investment banker, since this is sharing time.”

The doctor gave him a dry look in response. “Are you sure you are fine? You seem to be having difficulty moving.” Seth paused in zipping his briefcase. Flexing his jaw, he finished pulling the zipper roughly, wincing slightly when he aggravated his side again. He shoved it back under his seat, trying to move as casually as he could without making the pain in his side worse.

“Just some pain in my side,” Seth finally admitted, hoping this would get the man to leave him alone. “It’s probably from my workout, it’ll go away.” If he had managed to work out that morning, it would be. He hadn’t had the time and the pain in his side had been killer. He’d also thrown up, which he took as a sign that he shouldn’t work out.

"Where is the pain?" The doctor asked and Seth bit his tongue to avoid sighing. Why wouldn’t this guy leave him the fuck alone?

"Lower right side," he said, biting off his words at the end. He glared at the man, daring him to keep bugging him.

"Near your stomach?" The bald man lifted up a hand to his face, clearly thinking about something. "Has there been anything else? Nausea, loss of appetite, fever?" Seth thought for a second - he'd been running hotter than normal and he hadn't eaten in a few hours. Ever since the pain came on, he hadn't really felt hungry - or like he could eat, even if he had been hungry.

"Maybe," Seth shrugged. He flexed his jaw - why the fuck couldn’t this doctor leave him the hell alone? People that Seth _wanted_ to care about him dumped him (the way he deserved), but this random asshole in an airport terminal wouldn’t leave him the fuck alone.

"Would you mind doing something for me?"

“Will you leave me alone?” Seth snapped, getting a surprised blink out of the bald man. “If I do the thing you want, will you leave me the fuck alone afterwards?”

“Of course,” the doctor said, apparently conceding. “I need you to stand up and lift your shirt a bit.” Seth glared, crossing his arms. “I am a married man, sir. It is nothing...How do you say...Perverted? It is merely a simple test.”

With an annoyed sigh, Seth stood up and pulled up his shirt. He winced slightly when he jerked too hard and made his side hurt more, but he gritted his teeth and kept from showing it. “Fine. Now what?”

“Just stand still,” the bald man said, as he stood up and walked over to Seth. “I am going to press down where it hurts.” He placed gentle fingers on Seth’s lower abdomen, right over the pain.

“Hurry up,” Seth snapped. The doctor pressed down and suddenly all Seth knew was pain. His knees crumpled, a scream tried to tear its way out of his throat - Seth bit down, he can’t scream. He can’t scream, everyone already hated him for letting his phone ring so much, and if he screamed, his boss would find out and he’d get demoted.

“You need an ambulance,” the doctor said. “Immediately.” A flight attendant who’d been at the gate, watching them, suddenly appeared by their side. Seth couldn’t hear what she was saying, but he could understand the doctor repeating the urgent need for an ambulance. The word ‘appendicitis’ came up and Seth’s brain tried to pull together fuzzy pieces of information.

He’d seen Roman’s scar, from when he had appendicitis. It’d been before Seth’s time - hell, it’d been before Dean’s. It’d nearly lost Roman his scholarship, because it happened mid-season back when he was in college. Roman’d explained it once - _‘Fuck, I’m an idiot,’_ Seth realized foggily. Everything lined up, now that he thought about it.

“An ambulance is on its way, sir,” the flight attendant said, laying a gentle hand on Seth’s shoulder. “Is there anyone you’d like me to call? To tell them you won’t be making the flight?”

“My boss,” Seth hissed out. He rattled off Hunter’s phone number, before continuing, “I was supposed to fly back, had a meeting tomorrow. He’ll need to know I’m missing it.” The words came out choppy, Seth forcing them out through the pain.

“No family?” The doctor asked, his eyebrows knitting together. “The people who kept calling you - they were co-workers, then?” Between the flight attendant and the bald man, they got Seth sitting down in his chair again.

Seth flexed his jaw, refusing to meet their eyes. “No. No one but my boss,” he said. Dean and Roman didn’t need him ruining their holidays even more than he already had. Besides, they’d already figured out they were better off without him anyway. This would just annoy them.

*

The last person Roman expected to get a phone call from was Hunter Hearst Helmsley. They’d met once during a party at Seth’s work - it’d been perfectly cordial, but Roman could tell that Hunter felt he had better things to do. Such as fucking his best friend in his office or appeasing his father-in-law.

“Hello,” Roman said, leaning against the kitchen counter. Dean looked up from the music box he’d been fixing, a gift for Naomi and Jimmy’s wedding. Roman shook his head - it’s not Seth. With a quiet sigh, Dean slid down in his seat and went back to adjusting the screws on the lid.

 _“Good evening, Roman,”_ Hunter said, his voice weary. _“I wish I had better reasons to be calling you right now.”_ Cold ran down Roman’s back - something was wrong with Seth. He swallowed, closing his eyes - if it was something really bad, like a plane crash, it’d be on the news. That was bitterly comforting.

“What happened? What’s wrong?” Roman waved at Dean to stay sitting. He got a quick blue eyed glare and then Dean was standing at his shoulder, doing his best to listen in.

_“I just got a call from the airport that Seth was supposed to fly out of. They had to call Seth an ambulance - the doctor says it’s appendicitis, apparently. He’s heading to the hospital right now.”_

Dean mouthed ‘Appendicitis?’ at Roman, who just nodded absently. “Which hospital? Is the weather still too bad to fly?” He asked, exchanging a glance with Dean, who nodded. There were days when having a pilot for a boyfriend was inconvenient, but then there were times like this.

Hunter answered the first question, then said, _“I’m not sure about the weather - I could hear it pouring down when she called me.”_

“Alright. Thanks for calling us.” Roman didn’t ask why the airport called Hunter and not them - he chose to ignore that question, leaving it for later. “Have a nice evening, sir.”

 _“You, too.”_ And then Hunter hung up.

“Alright. Weather’s too bad to fly in to Seth’s airport or any of the others,” Dean pointed at the computer screen, showing Roman what he was talking about; his concern for Seth apparently overriding his hatred of computers. “But if we fly in up here and drive down, the flight’d be about...Two and a half hours, the drive one and a half.”

“That works,” Roman nodded. “But how’re we gonna get a plane?”

“C’mon, Ro, Jericho couldn’t stop me if he wanted to.”

Roman sighed. He considered reiterating the question - how’re we gonna get a plane _without_ getting arrested or pissing off your boss - but decided against it. Chris Jericho was a decent man - as long as they returned the plane in the same condition they found it, he probably wouldn’t be too annoyed.

*

They’d gotten a plane from Chris without much argument - “Seth’s in the hospital, man,” and suddenly they had keys in hand. He’d even gotten them cleared with ground control, probably far quicker than Dean could’ve on his own.

But now they were off the plane and driving down to the hospital. They’d be on the road for an hour already - the storm that had grounded Seth’s plane was still ahead of them, but they’d been driving through rain.

Roman was driving now - he’d watched Dean twitch and tap and jerk through the entire flight. He knew that Dean would fly them safely, but it was still anxiety inducing to watch the pilot bounce around in his seat. Even in the car, Dean was constantly moving from his anxious energy - one minute, his foot was bouncing up and down, then the next he was running his hands through his hair and then he was curled up in the seat, tapping his collar bone.

The only noise in the car was from Dean’s ever constant motion. Normally Seth would have his phone plugged in and some random band playing through the speakers - Dean and Roman would both complain, but Seth would just play his music louder. It made his absence that much more apparent - Roman sighed. There was always a Seth shaped hole whenever he was away just like there was always a Dean shaped hole whenever he was away.

“D’you think he’s in surgery?” Dean asked, apparently finding the silence as unbearable as Roman. “Like, they called Triple H, what? Hours ago? He’s gotta be, like, in surgery or out of it or something. And they woulda called Trips or something if it went wrong, right? So he’s gotta be fine, Seth’s gotta be fine.”

“Yeah,” Roman said, glancing down towards the GPS. They still had another half hour of driving to go - and the GPS was warning them that they were heading into wet road conditions. _‘Oh, really?’_ Roman thought dryly, as the rain started falling harder. He sighed. They still had a long way to go, a long time to sit and agonize over Seth’s condition.

*

When Seth woke up, it was to beeping machinery, a white room and the smell of disinfectant. He sighed - he still wasn't home. And his flight'd left without him. _'Guess I'm calling to say 'sorry, nevermind' after all,'_ Seth bit down the nearly hysterical chuckle that nearly came out. He wanted to cry. He was all alone in the hospital, in an entirely different _state,_ and his two lovers had given up on him.

“Hey, he’s awake,” a familiar voice rasped and suddenly Dean appeared in his vision, one callused hand going to grab his. _‘Dean’s hands always felt nice,’_ Seth thought, remembering how Dean’s hands had felt on his body. He loved that feeling. _‘Since I’m such a goddamn fuck up, I’ll never feel that again.’_ He knew the Dean currently holding his hand and rubbing his cheek had to be a hallucination - since the real Dean had given up on Seth hours before.

“Why’re you crying? Ro, why’s he crying?” Both of Dean’s hands were on Seth’s face, his blue eyes darting between Seth and the hallucination Roman standing in the doorway. Seth couldn’t understand why his own hallucination couldn’t understand why he was crying - this Dean was a figment of his imagination, therefore he should know everything that Seth knows. “C’mon, darlin’, don’t cry, it’s okay, right, Ro? It’s okay, you’re okay, we’re okay, everything’s okay, please stop crying.” Dean’s voice sounded so real, sounded so _right_ , so _Dean_ , that Seth just started crying harder.

How pathetic do you have to be to hallucinate your ex-lovers and then start crying because they feel too real? Seth had no idea, but he knew it had to be pretty damn pathetic. _‘Just like me,’_ he thought bitterly.

Hallucination Roman reached his hand over and pathetically - _‘Like a small child,’_ Seth thought admonishingly, _‘I’m so pathetic.’_ \- Seth took it. “Please don’t leave,” Seth whimpered. “I know you’re not real, but please don’t leave.” _‘I’m so fucking pathetic, look at me, begging my own fucking_ hallucinations _not to leave me.’_

“Whaddya mean, we’re not real?” Dean asked, confused. He shot a confused glance towards Roman, who shrugged, a concerned expression coming over his face. “C’mon, sunshine, the docs didn’t say anything about you hitting your head.”

“You can’t be real,” Seth sniffed. “Dean and Ro finally figured out they’re better off without me, remember? C’mon, you’re my own damn hallucinations, you should know that.”

He hadn’t expected how that would affect the two. Dean looked like he’d been hit - all of the color drained from his face and he swallowed, dropping his head slightly. Roman didn’t look much better as he closed his eyes and clenched his jaw.

“...Or you’re not?” Seth asked very quietly. He really wanted it to be true - he really wanted it to be the real Dean and the real Roman in his hospital room, but he also knew that it couldn’t possibly be them. They knew they were better off without him...Right?

“Yeah, we’re not,” Dean said, trying to smile at Seth. It was a sad attempt, Dean was too upset to actually turn the whole thing into a joke like he obviously wanted to. “Man, you got some really dumb ideas in your head during this whole thing, didn’t you, sunshine?”

“Prove it,” Seth said, unconsciously squeezing Roman’s hand. Roman winced in response, almost subconsciously dragging his hand away - something played over his face before he dropped his hand back down to Seth’s lap. Turning Roman’s hand over in his, Seth ghosted his fingers across Roman’s palm, tracing the lines. Once again, Roman winced - Seth wasn’t sure if his hallucinations were good enough to remember that Roman was extremely ticklish.

“How the hell’re we supposed to do that?” Dean asked - almost more to Roman than Seth. Roman shrugged in response, his brows knit together as he thought about the same thing.

A knock came at the door - a nurse’s head appeared over Roman’s shoulder. “Hello, Roman, Dean,” she said, greeting them both. Seth froze, staring at her with wide eyes. “Oh, he’s awake!” She exclaimed, before gently smacking Roman’s shoulder. “I told you two to come get me when he woke up, I’ll be right back with the doc.”

 _‘There was no reason for a nurse to interact with my hallucinations,’_ Seth realized, right before started crying again. “I’m sorry,” he whimpered, rubbing at his eyes with his free hand. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry…”

“Hey, hey,” Roman suddenly appeared at Seth’s shoulder, one hand cradling his head. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry about, alright? Everything’s gonna be okay, Seth. It’s all gonna be okay.” He pressed a kiss to Seth’s forehead, repeating, “Everything’s gonna be okay.”

Seth wasn’t sure if he could believe them, but sitting there - in that hospital bed, with Dean and Roman at either side - he thought maybe - _maybe_ \- they were right. And, god, did he hope they were.

**Author's Note:**

> [2/24]
> 
> I'm planning to write two fics per month this entire year. If there're any ships or whatever you think need more fics, send me an ask at thistaleisabloodyone.tumblr.com


End file.
